Heroes Have Feelings, Too
The moment I realized I needed help remains distinct in my mind: my son was in my office space, resisting being on camera for his morning Kindergarten Zoom session, and I was trying to get on my next Google Meet.
My son was melting down, and so I forcefully placed him on the chair. He cried and slumped as his teacher continued on.
Who knows if the teacher saw me. Thank goodness mute was activated because on our side of the camera, there were few words of loving kindness.
I forgot what my meeting was about that day, and what my son’s lesson was; but what’s clear as crystal is the memory of my behavior and the request I made later that day.
I activated my mental health benefits through my employer and found a counselor. I scheduled my first session within the week.
February and much of March were a blur of familial strife: our sons behavior had taken a sour turn, my wife and I were out of sync as she dealt with another health scare. I had been passed over for a fourth promotion in as many attempts, and oh yeah, the global “we” had all passed the year mark of the pandemic.
The buildup of stress was toxic.
Meeting with a counselor was, and continues to be one of the best moves I’ve made in a long time.
My counselor and I meet over a live text chat. I’ve never even heard her voice, but in the month or so I’ve been meeting with her, she’s helped me realign with my values, helped me short circuit disruptive thought traps, and build mindful awareness in those moments when I feel like I’m going to lose myself. I’ve made good progress, and I know I have more to go.
As men, our quality of life isn’t only based on how flat our stomachs are, or how broad our shoulders stretch. Our minds need care, too. No need for us to be invincible. Superheroes have feelings, too.
If you know you are in need of mental health help, get it. If you have a benefit for it, use it. If you don’t have a benefit, find someone you can talk to you. Sharing what’s inside you and processing it in a healthful way just might save the world.
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Photo by Yulia Matvienko on Unsplash
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